So I went to see that ‘Angels and Demons’ movie last night. I gotta admit, it’s a real snoozah … except for one scene right at the very beginning. Tom Hanks in a pool. That’s right ladies, Tom Hanks does a few gorgeous laps and then pops up outta the pool to talk to some man about symbolism or sumthin. The problem is that you only see my Hanksy soakin wet from the chest up. I was sittin there prayin, just prayin for him to take a few steps out of the pool. But no, the scene cut and I was left wunderin. I wasn’t even worried about the shrinkage. It would have been breath taking to see Tom’s tiny shrunken bawlls, like a couple a little blueberries. Here is my question to Tom Hanks: Tom, why are you always doing movies that involve swimming but you never show your beautiful little bawlls? Cast Away, Splash. Ok, so maybe there are only two uthas. But honestly, give a girl a break. Stop being such a bawll tease.
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