Marilyn Manson’s Snot Bawlls

There are not many things in this world that make me cringe, but Marilyn Manson’s snot bawlls are one of ‘em. Apparently the crazy bastud blew snot bawlls from both nostrils while performing “Beautiful People” up in Canada this week. Ironic and disgustin’.

I think these snot bawlls are the only bawlls Marilyn Manson actually has. His bawlls down unda checked out a long time ago. And by checked out, I mean they’re probably hiding in his stomach somewhere, just prayin’ they don’t have to be a part of the freak show he calls a concert. Marilyn Manson scared the livin’ daylights outta his own bawlls. And he scares the livin' daylights outta Joyce too.

Fake Bawlls

Chaz Bono has bawlls. Literally. Huge bawlls for a girl. Or former girl. Confused? So was she…

Chastity Bono, daughter of Cher and Sonny, was born with lady bits. But inside, Chastity was Chaz – the man you see before you today. Chastity undawent genda reassignment surgery, brave ladyboy that she is. She turned her twat into a twig and got some fake berries implanted. Kinda makes ya wunda if fake bawlls are like fake boobs… if done right, you wouldn’t even be able to tell. As a ball connoisseur, I like to think I’d be able to tell the difference. I’d like to put Chaz’s balls in one of those mystery boxes and Jon Bon Jovi’s bawlls in anotha, grab a bottle of zinfandel and a pack of Marlboros, throw on Slippery When Wet and play “Are they real?” all night long. Doesn’t even matter if I’m wrong, Deb doesn’t discriminate in any mattas relatin’ to bawlls.

The pic above shows Chastity and Chaz - then and now.

Playbawlls

Check out this pic of Hugh Hefner havin’ a snooze at his 83rd birthday pardy. Hef ain’t exactly the young buck he useta be, but I’d be willin’ ta bet his 83 year old balls have some stories to tell. In fact, his two bawlls probably have more stories than 20 bawlls put togetha.

If Hugh’s bawlls could talk, it’d go sumthin’ like this:

Bawll1: I’m tired.
Bawll2: Me too. And cold.
Bawll1: What?
Bawll2: I don’t remember.
Bawll1: I’m tired.

Get it? He’s old. And so are his old, old bawlls. Sure, there was a time when Hugh had his bawlls caressed by some of the wurlds sexiest and slutiest women. But now the only thing caressin’ his bawlls is his Depends Ultras. We all had our heyday, but no one is exempt from old bawlls. Except all women. Take that, men and ya bawlls. Suckas.

Snoop Dogg's Supa Bawlls

So apparently Snoop Dogg has been appointed Creative Chairman of Priority Records. He’s callin’ himself the “Boss Dogg” of the labul. You wanna know what I call him? The “Supa High Boss Dogg”. This is a lot a responsibility for such a stona. Oh well, at least he’s the “creative” chairman. Cause you know everyone is more creative after a puff of the funny stuff. Snoop Dogg’s bawlls are probably even high. I can just picture them down there “hey man, you wanna smoke?”, then they start blowin’ supas to each utha. What a sight that would be. Two little bawlls, hot boxin’ Snoop's drawers. Geez, I wanna smoke with those two little buggas. Betta than hot boxin' the showah, I bet-cha!