Zac's Baby Tabby Bawlls

Apparently this guy is the flava of the week for the young ladies. Neva heard of him, but let me tell ya sumthin – he’s cute as a button and he loves bawlls too, his own bawlls that is. Zac, why ya grabbin' ya bawlls like that when you've got Joyce ova here, ready and willin'? I’d like to cup those bawlls in my hands, caress them fah hours on end. What a sight that would be! Young Zac, whoeva he is, layin' on Joyce’s couch, legs spread, bawlls out. And me, beside him, just caressin’ away while I watch TV. It wouldn’t surprise me if those bawlls purred like a pair of little kittens. I bet they are as soft as a pair of baby tabbies, no doubt.

Sexy, Sexy Bawlls

Thoughtcha might enjoy!

Richard Gere's Butta Bawlls

I’ve noticed that I’ve been a little negative towards bawlls lately so I’m going to switch gears and talk about someone whose bawlls I love. Whose bawlls, you ask? Richard Gere’s bawlls. Ha, I'm switchin' gears to Gere - I just made the connection now, I swear. I mean, who wouldn’t love Richard Gere’s bawlls. They’re smooth as butta. I would literally butta my bread with those handsome, smooth bawlls. I would eat Richard Gere’s buttary bawlls on toast every morning if I could. What was that movie he was in with J-Lo? ‘Should We Dance’ or sumthin? That was a classic. Richard Gere’s dance moves are almost as silky smooth as his bawlls. It would’ve been betta if he fluttud around the dance floor pant-less. Smooth bawlls melting all ova the big screen while he pranced around the ballroom, or shall I say, bawllroom dancefloor. Holy crap, I'm on a roll today Deb.

She Doesn't Have a Pretty Face

Ya might be asking yaself "Who the hell is that?", but ya know him. It's supa-blogga extraordinaire Perez Hilton. It's a sad, sad day when ya lose 100lbs only to find out that you were more attractive as a fatty. Ahhh well. I do wunda sometimes what happens to all that extra skin... especially in the bawll-region. As if there wasn't already an abundance of skin in the sack area, think of what it must look like down there now with the mega weight loss. Perez could probably wrap the skin from his sack around his whole body like a Popple. Memba Popples?

WARNING!! Drop Dead Gorgeous Bawlls May Kill You

Listen up, Joyce. If you don't hear from me for a few days, you should really call to make sure ya friend Deb is okay. Why, you ask? Well, I've been passed out cold on the floor for since Tuesday! Ya, that's right.... while looking for something 'topical' to post about, I came across this David Beckham Armani ad. It ain't new, but holy shit is it ever worth bawll talkin'. Actually, there aren't even words for this. Just me, hyperventilating, breathin into a paper bag tryin my damndest not to pass the fuck out again. Holy shit, Beckham, that’s just too much. Seriously. Turn the sexy down, ya crazy asshole, are ya tryin to kill us? Jesus. I'm gettin lightheaded again... dizzy... oh... dear....... bawlls.... wha...??

It'd be crazy embarrassing to die from bawll swoonin'. Oh, but wutta way'da go...

Happy Friday Everyone!

Don't cha just love the summa?

Snake on ya Bawlls Lambert

Is it just me, or is there sumthin disturbin about this cover? At first glace, nuthin new. Young, hot, barely legal, seductive, fresh outta the closet, “wild idol”. But then I took a closer look. Everything is centered around the crotch area. The snake, the buttafly, that crazy medieval belt.That snake is just about to slitha right into Lambert’s pants. What would happen then? That snake would wrap itself up in those bawlls and then young Adam would really have sumthin to sing about. I mean, I don’t even know where to start with this. Is it a subliminal message or sumthin? Or is Adam already into some freakin business? And the buttafly too. What’s that all about? This is all too deep for Joyce. Quite frankly, this is too deep for Adam Lambert. Just show us ya hot gay bawlls and get on with it.

Phelps' Full Body Speedo

Oh, hello there, Mikey Phelps and ya full body Speedo. Are ya arms outstretched cuz you're lookin for some love from Deb? Deb would like to hug you too. Whatcha doin later? Wanna go for a swim, maybe hit the bong, whatever it is you crazy kids do these days? Well, Deb's into whatever you and your gold-medal bawlls wanna do.

I hear Mikey's got size 14 feet, that act like flippas for maximum thrust in the wata. I bet his bawlls act like fins.

There outta be a law that forces men built like Phelps to wear Speedos and nothing but. Anyone else in that get up would repulse, but Phelpsy-boy still turns my crank, full body Speedo and all.

Spencer Pratt - Bawlls in Need

Spencer Pratt has no soul, or substance for that mattuh. He has empty bawlls as well. You could light up a torch and go exploring through those shallow cave bawlls and you know what you would discova? Nuthin. I’m sure they’re not so attractive on the outside neither. Dry as bones, as Deb would say. And there is nuthin worse than a set of dry bawlls. Get some aloe vera on those bawlls Pratt. And while you’re at it, moisturize ya soul.

Crosby's Patchy Rug Bawlls

If Sidney Crosby’s bawlls look anything like Sidney Crosby’s chin, Joyce is not a fan. I pic-cha a fuzzy little patchy rug on each bawll. Like someone took a riding lawnmower to a 70’s shag all ovah those bawlls.

Some people say that it doesn’t matter what Sidney’s bawlls look like, it’s how he plays that mattuhs. Joyce disagrees. Sidney, take it from an expert, fuzzy patchy rug bawlls are never a good idea. When the playoffs are ovah and you shave that chin, do us all a fava and get rid of the fuzz rugs on ya bawlls as well.

Top Ten One-Bawlled Wundas

In my neva ending bawll hunt, I found this top 10 list of uni-ballwed boys. Did you know Governor Terminator only has the one little fella down there? That explains a lot.

Sure, it's cute, but where's the list of real men with more than the standud pair? Deb could deal with a triple sack. There's not enough bawlls in the world fer this girl.

Read the complete list here.

Oh, and check out the pair on that squirrel. Nice nuts. Deb approves. That squirrel’s got more bawlls than Hitler!

Bruno’s Bawlls in Eminem’s Face

Some people have all the luck. What did Eminem do to deserve this? Sing a few rap songs? Be angry all the time about everything? Why couldn’t it be Deb n' Joyce sittin there at the MTV Movie Awards when Bruno flew from the heavens and shoved his bawlls in Eminem’s face? Why? There’s been some talk about this segment being staged. I bet it was. I bet it was Eminem’s idea. Bawll lovin’ bastud.

Tom Hanks is a bawll tease

So I went to see that ‘Angels and Demons’ movie last night. I gotta admit, it’s a real snoozah … except for one scene right at the very beginning. Tom Hanks in a pool. That’s right ladies, Tom Hanks does a few gorgeous laps and then pops up outta the pool to talk to some man about symbolism or sumthin. The problem is that you only see my Hanksy soakin wet from the chest up. I was sittin there prayin, just prayin for him to take a few steps out of the pool. But no, the scene cut and I was left wunderin. I wasn’t even worried about the shrinkage. It would have been breath taking to see Tom’s tiny shrunken bawlls, like a couple a little blueberries. Here is my question to Tom Hanks: Tom, why are you always doing movies that involve swimming but you never show your beautiful little bawlls? Cast Away, Splash. Ok, so maybe there are only two uthas. But honestly, give a girl a break. Stop being such a bawll tease.