I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses Jon Bon Jovi

Who doesn’t love Bon Jovi’s bawlls? I’d like to know. He is an utta saint and his bawlls are the best in the biz.

He’s not shy about it neitha. Bon Jovi knows he’s got great bawlls and a great bawd ta boot. The way he’s always posin’ and stripin’ for the camera. Those bawlls can seduce an entire concert arena with one thrust and a kick to the speaka.

Don’t kid yaselves ladies. Ya think his voice is sexy? Ya think it’s the tousled hair and chisled feachas that get cha? Nope. Really you’re just being hypnotized by his nuts. It’s like they’re swingin’ two little pocket watches in ya faces.

Good on ya Jon Bon – you’ve got us all figuad out. Hip thrusts in tight denim will get us every time. And to think, these bawlls are from the beautiful Garden State of Jersey? Not much comes out of Jersey; take it from Deb and me. But we can say that we are the home of Jon Bon Jovi and his perfect, seductive bawlls, so that’s sumthin’.